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2 out of 3 of the 1st Respondents (to 9/11) were catholics.

I Was Wrong–Yes It IS: My Response TODAY to the name of this here my blogpage. And So My Life Continues to Unfold.

“Much Success To Ya…Even If Ya Wish Me Da Opposite…sooner or later we’ll ALL see who da Prophet Is…”
…a quote from da God Nasir Jones as we would call him in the Nation of Gods and Earths/5percenters–and also in the Nation of Islam which is the vine of which the NOGE offshoots.

All Christianity has taught me and afforded me is to be the Most Righteous and affectionate person toward (and in acceptance of) corruption in authority in submission to injustice meanwhile receiving evil for good and the most lopsided of exchanges and flat out hatred and death.

One of the things that has kept me from my true father in Islam, the “Our Father” Jesus taught us of in the “Lord’s Prayer, Allah the Lord of all the worlds (even though I am so very powerful and too powerful to be overcome except with my permission as shown in my very first MMA fight with an more experienced competitor in JiuJitsu) is that I am a naturally born submissive person (muslim). Even though I was born Taif and my God given individuality has been IDENTICAL to HIM My Father Allah, I accepted and excelled at the Christianity pressed upon me and in such a way which no one around me could seem to equal or match. I would have become a Catholic Priest if not for the Will of Allah Shukran Allah and Tupac Shakur.

I once predicted that I would be assassinated BY a MUSLIM (extremist of course). That day has come…and I AM that muslim. The old me/man is no longer but I am somehow even more Lateef or Most Affectionate than I was as a subject of Christianity or as I now call oppression finally knowing that true muslims are the real Christians.

Even now as I write this I struggle against the so called Christianity that was ingrained in me which either endures subjugation as a necessary evil allowed by God or overcomes it by force excusing anger and abandoning the submission a muslim desires. I struggle to show Allah’s love to these pretend Christians that through their own unjust treatment of me helped me see the truth of Islam in that they are just representing a suppressed desire to overcome the injustice they have unknowingly accepted and being unable to pinpoint the source of their pain since it is the very system of authority they accepted, they are all too often lashing out at their loved ones and even at the victim and him whom is indeed innocent (as America does at the unborn child at such an grossly evil rate) and the most affectionate to them being now unable to identify causality and/or tell the difference between friend and foe, lover and enemy having accepted lawlessness and injustice as their authority (which creates chaos and a restlessness and P.T.S.D. inside the human heart) as Christianity offers peace by offering the Godman as sacrifice presented to the believer as accepting evil for good and instructing him or her to do the same offering themself as such sacrifice reinforcing the notion that the subject has not the right to fight against injustice corruption or the slaveowner in the case of black people in America.

Five years ago, I was called a slave by my daughter’s Mother’s self identifying Hispanic Father. I had just presented myself as a former candidate for a couple different Catholic seminaries the last of which I was considered too old for. I presented myself as the well dressed dignified and respectful gentleman life had made me. To explain his daughter’s attraction to black men which he had obviously had enough of, making me her 3rd “black” “baby’s father,” this Chilean man of very small but very arrogant stature said to me upon our first meeting, “My daughter has a thing for slaves.” As a “good Christian” and student of the Samurai Code which teaches correction is sometimes best given at leavetaking or by letter, I did not respond at all and instead told him in a handwritten letter that my Grandfather, a war hero was rolling over in his ashes at my “turning the other cheek,” and I demanded an apology to which he relayed a message to me that he “didn’t understand” my six page letter. He never apologized. Instead he made some different stupid and offensive “black joke” at a couple more encounters and was continually disrespectful and rude to me often telling me to “get a job” in my struggle for employment (which has never lasted long as I juggled 2 professions and also a part time job in the 4 years of our relationship including professional fighter, truckdriver and fastfood worker) until I refused to be around him which needless to say was somehow unacceptable to my daughter’s mother although his treatment of me was not. In combination with this hurt is my now ongoing vicious and intense custody battle, not being able to see my 18 month old daughter for weeks at a time whom I’ve been there for literally since day one, and my realizing in my daughter’s Mother that the “fruit don’t fall far from the tree,” as she was unfortunately a lot more like her father in the insensitivity and ignorance  of the white man than I anticipated-the kind Sitting Bull and Red Cloud spoke against. I realized this throughout our 4 year relationship–1 for every so called century of the Black Man’s plight in North America which I now know extends back to white Romans Military Occupation of Black Judea during the time of Christ which I, in the same spirit of Black Hebrew Israelites today perceiving Deuteronomy 28:68, blame myself for of course, for being in violation of the Lord’s commandment against fornication.
This was the third woman I had put forth a valiant attempt to fall in love with. The Korean Father of the woman whom preceeded her put a stop to our relationship after his daughter revealed my black identity to him after two years of our dating by threatening to cut her off financially and disown her.
The woman before this Korean girl I thought I was so helplessly and blessedly in love with was my first love–a beautiful and ambitious black girl who was like so many of our daughters raised to “pop shit” at a man rather than as the Bible teaches to submit to him and as so many men are not worthy of being submitted to just seeking a play toy. When I was saved by Allah’s grace from entering into the military to save our teenaged relationship, she entered Jobcorps and later told me the man she had cheated on me with “drove a Range Rover.”

An Honorable Mention girlfriend of mine understandably couldn’t deal with my lack of income even though I was too busy hustling, making money under the table for a telemarketing company when her Mother called wondering why I wasn’t in court to testify against her baby’s father for assaulting her and myself with a knife.

Before you criticize me for not being a “strict catholic christian” or the “strict protestant Christian” I was raised to be, understand the nature of this despicable “dating” mentality which plagues our youth and threatens the lives of peace of our children rearing them in a spiritually lawless society whilst they gravitate toward nurturing still an innate desire for community and marriage.

Then try to understand the Colin Kaepernick Issue, recent police killings of innocent and unarmed black men and the lack of convictions demonstrating a clear authorization of authority here in America (as always) to kill us which tore our integrated nation to it’s white supremacist foundations and on top of all this, try to understand why I have in the midst of all this would have to explain to white Christians on facebook that the Jesus they worship was historically and ethnically a black man- a truth most of them vehemently deny in this issue arising wherein one even told me “fuck Black Jesus! I wish all the evidence He was black was destroyed,” after having been a good “whitewashed” Christian simply who refused to side against Colin or Muhammad Ali many years before him with Tommie Smith and Juan Carlos in the ’68 Olympics in favor of the Pledge of Allegiance to the United States of America and instead had to continue digging for truth: the aim of the Synagogue of Satan mentioned in Rev. 3:9 which a Bishop Richard Williamson is currently under suspension by the Pope for citing, for generations has been the world domination and wars which Christianity has always been a good enough reason to foster.

The featured photo of this post (at the top), I now marvel at shows my former name (will be changed soon) of this my blog here “HipHopISNotTheChurch.” As I write this it dawns on me how eerily similar or rather identical is the practice of the Nation of Islam of putting off the so-called “slave-name” and taking on an “X” (Malcolm Little to Malcolm-X to El Hajj Malik Shabazz) and eventually a new name altogether. The vast difference (though visible development) of myself today from my mindframe and ongoing struggle in submission since my last post has been an ongoing development throughout my life–one I was always on my way to figuring out and finding peace within. Only one who understands whitewashing and false-flag operations and being lied to by those in authority or politics at least, can truly and deeply understand and appreciate the vastness of difference. It’s no wonder in this development I had to apologize to my very few readers for my inactivity blogging. This difference is exemplified in my life’s story in the central understanding of my not knowing whom my father was for the first twelve years of my life but finding out in my Mother’s inability to remain in denial as I began to resemble him for her beyond doubt, and the painful process involved. Things we find out often much later than we would often like are often not as they seem or presented. He (my biological Father) was her first love whom she visited whilst married to an unfaithful man whom as I understand provoked her own unfaithfulness to her marriage to him whom I thought to be my Father until my true nature revealed itself undeniable. Despite proudly bearing the last name of another (who gave me a Muslim first name but allowed me to be raised a devout Christian in the religion of my ancestors’ slaveowners and house of my oppressor), the truth could not and would not be suppressed. I (like everything else in existence) AM undisputedly the fruit and seed and offspring of my Father no matter how whitewashed or brainwashed I was in both nature and religion. The truth and nature of things and people is always undeniable even when it is hidden by those in authority over us. Islam I now understand to be the study of origins and all things AS THEY ARE pure and true under Heaven–right and exact and even hidden on purpose which has been suppressed but shouting in me all along which even I was trying to suppress.

Many things Allah has used to bring me to peace or Shalom or Salam and an equally great amount of adverse factors have been used to keep me away from the peace and truth I was born for.

I’m sure many Christian readers theologically or emotionally shrunk away from the way I opened this post calling the world renowned rapper Nas “Da God” as we say in HipHop.

Traditional Christianity choosing to deny the world’s hatred of righteous men and those bold enough to challenge the sytem of power in place presents us as all sinners or those who miss the mark even though throughout history there are those of us like Malcolm X or JFK or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who are spiritually able to point others to a marksmanship unimagined. The Steph Currys of our generation. The Bible tells us the world’s only recognized Christ Himself told us we should do “greater works” than He because He was Headed to The Father. He cited Psalms 82:6 and stated the then new John 10:34 which so called Christianity strangely avoids but is central to the Nation of Islam–> “But ye are Gods and all children of the Most High. If it called them Gods to whom the word of God was given then why do you say I blaspheme?”

I just pray my daughter is not misguided by anyone too ashamed or ignorant of the truth and that she is of those who submit to the Most High One True and Living God and not of the rebellious devils that she may avoid such confusion on her way to self-mastery.

Also in Honorable mention is the Fuqin Pain I had to go through to write this. I’m getting somewhere with it however, and it will probably end up being my first book but for now it is To BE CONTINUED…

…Until then, as the Honorable Elijah Muhammad says, and I abbreviate here, “A.Y.O. B.U.” A.ccept Y.our O.wn and B.e Y.ourself.

Would You Still Worship God If God Was Black / The Servant Is Not Greater Than the Master

As Palm Sunday passes and we draw closer to the universally accepted single most celebrated date of the Passion of Christ (whether or not it’s historically accurate for you my beloved understandable Catholic bashers), I find in my 34th year, through what I’ve been through, am going through, and what’s been going on (Singing Marvin Gaye), that it’s somewhat a miracle I became and am still a Catholic Christian. Im the only one of my mother’s four sons (Hey Sis) and my black brothers of extended family have told me “I can’t get with the whole Catholic thing.” Many of my brothers who’ve become victims of institutionalization including my own elder brother choose a Muslim faith which I grew up finding a great deal of respect for, having the pleasure to witness the beauty there through my Grandfather, a military man who visited my Muslim namesake finding great care for the people and culture of Taif, Saudi Arabia, though I find this surprises most American women in dating (go watch the awesome All-Star casted Kingdom of Heaven), and twice I have experienced irreparable racism to a promising relationship dating American women whose fathers wanted nothing to do with me (and I’m the best of what my daughter’s Mother irrevocably referred to as “my kind” once when I spoke of moving somewhere where the cost of living was a bit more affordable- “Your kind just leave” Sigh). This helps me understand why a conversation with the rare and intelligent well-researched Black-American is inevitably a conversation about how the “white man” just used Christianity to teach blacks to turn the other cheek and keep slaves in line and subservient. Also I’m often the only Black American I see at Mass if I see any in rarity having visited many beautiful Catholic parishes all over southern California with the exception of the city I came from in Inglewood where there are plenty of course. However, I remember in awe that He chose me and I did not choose Him.  So anyway, I wanna give people something to think about. Kuz that’s what I’m here to do right?
Especially you terrified police officers who signed up for a job you’re too scared to do. My baby brothers are more man than you. 😊 So proud of them 😊😇 #DontShoot #StopShooting #GrowAHeart
Plus it’s the weekend and this interracial thing I created a child with didn’t work out 😂 and I don’t have nights and weekends yet so… and I already worked my behind off for the money, tended to one of my dream jobs naturally, ran suicides and trained as though I was trying to commit it (God bless the poor souls R.I.P. Da’mon he left a baby boy St. Jude Pray for us), so I’ve nothing else productive to do and when that happens I often write and this time I wrote enough to make up for my broken promise to my precious few blog-readers that I’d keep up my entries at least once a month aleleuia! I guess it happens when it happens 😇 “Be anxious for nothing…” Fallopians 4 I think? Right? I kid I kid- hey we all came through those anyway…Except Him Right? Forgive me I’m freestyling 😂
So here it is.

Would you STILL worship and love Christ, if you knew He was a “Black man?” Is it so hard to believe?

That the “Jews” were actually Black? Did you know that at the time of Christ’s death, the Jews had been under a century’s long war and Roman occupation?  Did you know that crucifixion at Christ’s time was a public announcement to Jews not to rebel? That crucifixion had become as commonplace to Jews and Christ as lynching to Kunta Kinte and Black American Slaves? Did you know that reading the gospels without reference to the savage Roman war would be like reading the diary of Anne Frank without reference to the war of her time against the Ashkenazi/European Jews?
The whole comical factor of the “mockery” to the Romans, of the “inscribed crime for which Christ was crucified as  “King of the Jews,” was that it meant to them, “the king” of an “Inferior People.” For who cares about being king of a suppressed militarily occupied people? How stupid is the idea to be royal amongst peasants?
Imagine it this way: as our President (who I actually chose as the lesser of two evils to keep Baby-killer-Clinton out of office) would say… “King of the Blacks!” XD 😂 ..Or as the Klu Klux Klan and Segregated America in the 60’s would have said, “King of the Coloreds.” “King of the Blacks.”
How funny. …To the “white folks” of the time I mean. Yes of course Christ means, “no distinction between Jew and Gentile…” For “He came to ‘His Own,’ and they received Him NOT.” But is it so hard to believe that thousands of years later the same people were faced with “no coloreds allowed,” signs and “colored” water fountains while the earliest Merriam Webster definition for “ghetto” was “place where the Jews live?”
Since scholars debate the Jews couldn’t put Christ to death but by mob, its agreed they brought Him to Pontious Pilate who washed his hands as the Sacred Scripture tells us they could not crucify Him but with the help of their “oppressors.” The Jews-oppressed: the “Chosen People” of the God of Abraham to convert the gentiles to the True God…having order…From The God of the Jewish Torah. The God of the Jewish Law. The God of the Commandments which gave us our courts of LAW. Could they not, thousands of years later be known as “Colored people” BSpD7kIhEVy who suffered abhorrent genocidal destruction and unsearchable death similar to the Sacred Scripture Acts 5:30’s, “they put him to death by hanging Him on a tree?” Does the Bible call the Jews, “people of the sun?” Does Samson’s name translate to “Man of the Sun?” Does It say Yeshua had “hair like wool?”
Were you also still, like me, under the impression that the Jews of the Bible were not the ancestors of the descendants this country we know White-America persecuted as “colored,” but rather the more widely accepted “Jews” who own American liberal media that promotes antibiblical homosexuality and abortion and is known for their association with “money,” the “Jewel and Diamond Industry,” and being attorneys that rather than uphold the Jewish Law circumvent the law for criminals who pay the “right price,” and own most of the liberal media outlets that teach and emphasize the true Jew is the “AshkeNAZI” (Jews of Germany) said to have been survivors of a Holocaust of upwards of six million Jews while revisionists insist no more than 200,000 people could have been in such a small region at the time (a Holocaust rivaling that of the centuries-long Holocaust of people of color considered to be inferior for ages)? Were you also under the impression that these same “Jews” in no way manufactured a history and a “stolen legacy,” as a chosen people having every right to take possession of a European colonized (stolen) Palestine from the Palestinian people living there since the time of Christ (and then some) which has subsequently been persecuted under military occupation, unrest and war (peace in the middle East) since 1942 when it was first and finally established as the “Israeli State?” Did you know that the word “semitic,” is referring to the Afro-Asiatic Black Man? – a truth rappers have been trying to tell you about in rap music for decades and that anyone who speaks against the unjust establishment of so-called “Zionism,” the so-called Jewish people’s false claim to be the chosen people of God (“salvation is of the Jews”-a legacy stolen from the people of color), the unjust military occupation  of the State of Israel and subsequent oppression of the Palestinian people there and the unjust pursuit of World Dominion of the so-called Jew and atrocities of the so-called “Jewish People” is converged upon,  stigmatized, ignored and shamed into exile for merely paying attention or calling for a simple reviewing of the facts like Bishop Richard Williamson?
Were you also unaware that there had previously been no state of Israel and that in the fullness of time the Israelites who were exiled from their Homeland promised by God “never to see their homeland again” and to suffer countless curses of Deuteronomy Chapter 28, including returning to the land of Egypt where they had  previously been slaves to offer themselves but this time finding no buyer, being taken away ON SHIPS, becoming the tail and not the head, becoming slaves to a people in an unknown land, borrowing from him and not being able to lend? Were you also like me unaware that “these Jews” who had escaped in exile had established communities everywhere while wandering the wilderness searching for “promised land,” in places including Europe which finally banned slavery before America and Spain and that fastforwarding many today believe that all those today called “minorities,” including the decimated so-called Native Americans are the descendants of these homeless mistreated and exiled refugees? Further, with the overwhelming viewpoint of many minorities, especially black people who reject Christianity based on The Spanish Conquest and Conquering of their people and White Supremacy’s adopting and use of the Bible to claim to be civilizing the descendants of so many savages and heathen nations, in combination with the history of “Jim Crow Laws,” “Black Codes” and “Pig Laws” which created a “new slavery,” besides economic slavery after abolition first known as “the chain-gang,” (see the movie “Life,” featuring the Black Hero and Comedian Eddie Murphy whose nephew I just coincidentally beat for my second professional boxing win by the way-utmost Respect to them both) many intelligent prisoners who use their time wisely to study, convert from Christianity to other religions rejecting a faith that may very well have been their own (this can be seen also in the “Black Hebrew Israelite” Movement being placed on the “terrorist watch” list  and rappers like Common stating they’re, “taking the  original Hebrews on an Exodus to black Excellence”). Most then emerge from prison with a Muslim faith like Malcolm X and Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson but rarely a Christian one…so why did the rapper Shyne who was convicted and deported become a Jew? #ThingsThatMakeYaGoHmm
Why also does the recent uber successful Grammy Award winning rookie rapper Chance state that, “Like the Pharoahs and the pharisees Moses was black!” ??? Make no mistake, I question to bring people to Communion in Christ. I myself have always worshipped a “white Jesus” in a white supremacist country where the class system has always held white atop. The Sacred Art in my Church usually always depicts our Lord as white in ethnicity. I never had a problem with it until recently discovering my own treatment in society. I asked my Lord last year in a quiet chapel of one of the most blessed parishes in America (fittingly, Sacred Heart Parish) in Lancaster, California having 24 hour perpetual adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament (The New Ark of the Covenant housing the Most Precious Body of the Lamb of God), why Lord if this is not how you appeared, is this how you are presented? And graciously He responded to me…”The first shall be the last and the least shall be the greatest. He who humbles himself shall be exalted.”
#HappyEaster #BlacksThinkImStupid #WhitesThinkImProud #ImJustAChristian #HeIsRisen #HeLives #HappyPassover #HappyHanukkah #Taif #Muslim means #OneWhoSubmitsToGod so what are you if you believe Christ is who He says He is and you submit to Him?
Is it also really so hard to believe that you don’t want your daughter with a black man but you worship a white God? I mean….You know what I mean 😎 and is He still God to you if that was the case? #HappyEaster #IfTheyHatedYouTheyHatedMeFirst #TheyWillDeliverYouUpToGovernments #TheyWillPutYouToDeath #AsTheyDidToMeSoTheyShallDoToYou #TheServantIsNotGreaterThanTheMaster #TheyHangedHimOnATree Acts 5:30. A stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to the gentiles. 1 Cor. 1:23. Rev. 3:9 …claim to be Jews (descendants of Abraham) but liars and are not but are the Synagogue of Satan. Of course Bishop Williamson is experiencing some persecution at the moment for his attention to truth and affirmation in my eyes of Revelations 3:9, but he is nonetheless incredibly logical and caring of the flock. Please do copy and paste if link not available –Rev.3:9. Pax Christi. Ad Jesum Per Mariam.

In times of temptation-make like a scribe…and Write (especially to my unborn daughter).

Whilst i was weathering a great storm of temptation, it occurred to me to write to you how the Lord’s Holy Spirit was enabling me through
and these were my words:
Write the Bible (the catholic one-truly theONLY one in this great war between war and peace) on the walls of your mind (and heart).
And when u cannot fight, if you find yourself at the end of your resolve, close your eyes and let Jesus fight for you until the storm has passed, because it shall…and His Words like hieroglyphs on the walls of your mind will lead you. !just distract yourself!…the answers will come… Like !THAT! one came to me a whisper in the wind from the lips of our sweet Christ/The Holy Spirit…
open an intriguing novel…continually be asking in ur heart the Lord to carry you away…and He will…He wills that u be tried like gold in the fire that u be made worthy of such a King…


The Next Day!!! – And These are my grateful and burden-free rejoicing:

Now i feel the great reward!!!
After i distracted myself with reading (Ludlum’s Bourne Supremacy-already finished all Lustbader’s contributions-took my mind away from the battle at hand onto someone else’s pressing cross)
I further busied my weak overwhelmed will with that loving beautiful powerful film Forrest Gump.
I woke up unassaulted. Defended. Inebriated with sweet victory ready to shout whereforeartThou with a victorious laugh haha at tormenters and boast of our God.
Yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
And the wages of sin is death.
If you do fall run for His return-run to confession and thank Him for not calling you home in your death to obedience.
Remember: This too shall pass.

Shared from WordPress

Mediatrix of All Graces –

In A Way known to God




@_stlouie_ john 6:37 john 6:65 so wow how blessed are you and I??? Not all get to know the King of the Universe the Word of God made flesh as you and me. But do we not still love and respect our #Brethren as #PeopleOfTheBook and lovers of the #GodOfAbraham whom we feel do not know Him fully as we do? And how are we to invite them to if not by our love? Our #ChristianLove and #Understanding #InterfaithDialogue #Ecumenism #LoveOfGod  #ForChristsSake Are they #Enemies? If you feel so then you know how the Lord commands we treat our #Enemies #LoveYourEnemies if you only love those who love you what reward is there for that? #PrayForYourEnemies #BlessThoseWhoCurseYou and I have yet to meet a #Jew or #Muslim who curses #Christians though i know they exist….the majority minus radicals are the #peaceloving people we include in our prayers in the #Gloria when we say glory to God in the highest and on earth #PEACETOPEOPLEOFGOODWILL …in fact if you watch the #LoneSurvivorMovie the real life character soldier Marcus Lutrell portrayed by Mark Wahlberg is saved by muslim law pashtunwali as muslim villagers risk their own lives in defiance of the taliban who feel pashtunwali should not extend to the american soldier seeing him as an enemy of islam…and then how does Jesus command us to treat our #Enemies ??? Google Tne Afghan Village that Saved Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell. #Dope #InterfaithDialogue #Ecumenism #TrueReligion


0sin 2016

I’m back. And motivated for this beautiful New Year.
0sin (pronounced oh-seen), has been my battlecry since i was a protestant. It has long been my desire to live up to this lofty ideal that only our Lord Jesus Christ and His Holy Mother have truly embodied in humanity; without sin—perfect—Zero sin.
If you feel it more than just ‘missing the mark’ (the definition of sin), to fail to regularly update your blog then you’re not surprised at my being far from the most pious example. I promised in my last blog entry months and months ago not to be too busy with life to reasonably check in and post here–as I do love being apart of the Body of Christ here on the blogosphere. Forgive me. 😇
If you follow me on facebook or instagram however, you already know beyond a shadow of the benefit of the doubt that I’ve fallen far short of this our Christian ideal (0sin a.k.a. the State of Grace), particularly this past year, becoming a father (not the ordained kind) out of wedlock.
My girlfriend and I have been on and off for three years now. Our relationship has endured a good deal of culture gap, a painful amount of trivial selfishness on both our parts, her conversion to the Church, which though wasn’t especially difficult is still a conversion nonetheless with all it’s struggles, and my own ongoing conversion and wonder about my vocation having begun this relationship in route back to the place where I found my life; a monastery, where I enjoyed the happiest time of my life.
As my mother used to love to say, “Life is in session.”
On top of experiencing all this wonderful life, I’ve become a professional fighter, and as I’ve mentioned here, now a father of an awesome gift from the Lord in the form of a precious daughter due in May. Wow. All this and a few years ago I thought I was just on my way back to a monastery or onward to seminary.
But I am truly honored. A few days ago I saw all four ventricles of her awesome heart in full force.
Though it’s impossible to put a damper on that, her mother and I still face great concern.
I always hoped if this day ever came to raise my child in a traditional catholic family. This is why, for you precious children reading, you must avoid living in sin and even committing sin like the plague. The Lord does a mindblowing job cleaning up our messes, and no mess is to big for Him; Our Lady Undoer of Knots and all the Saints and Angels–the whole Host of Heaven with Him are also our help from Him on high, but still we are charged in all prudence, and it seems an easy gig and all we really have to do not to make things more difficult for ourselves as we so often do.
I am terrified of the uncertainty present in my outlook as to whether my girlfriend and I are called to a Happy Marriage together, particularly as it affects our daughter.
I’m absolutely torn in half as I cant imagine myself living apart from my daughter while my soul still longs for monastic life, though God is indeed calling me here.
Marriage is a terrible bandaid for a failed relationship. Many a Priest have actually advised me against marrying only for the sake of the child.
I just want things to be simple. They were once so simple.
All i know for certain is to recommit myself to obedience and living in the most delectable state of grace (and there’s my long-lost beloved simplicity),


shunning the cohabitation that I have allowed to cloud my vision until my girlfriend and I can be joined together in Holy Matrimony or the Lord reveals in dedicated prayer and time spent before the Most Blessed Sacrament His will otherwise.
This endeavor however is more than enough for my seemingly insatiable appetite for the Lord’s precious grace; It lights me afire.
Though I’m certainly still not walking by sight, Guiding light illuminates my path–as I look forward to an OH-SEEN-TWENTY-SIXTEEN.
0Sin2016. Back on my guaranteed/certain victory/cant go wrong path. 😇Obedience, Sweet Obedience. Home Sweet Obedience. 0sin2016. #LETSGOCHAMPS !

Good vs Email May 2, 2015

Well, okay, after much internal poking from myself here I am to blog about the not so important event in the life of the Church that may be moreso important than my busy attention appears to me to have time for. Also I rejoice at the provocation to get back to blogging on my very favorite subject.
Although I very much enjoyed this event, the so-called “fight of the century,” a boxing match between the two most legendary fighters of this era in boxing which occured May 2, 2015, it would -were it not for disappointed friends and acquaintances’ good hearts rooting for the opposing fighter to my pick for boxing’s best and therefore representative of the “good side”- leave me this night either praying my office or training for my own possible soon and upcoming boxing matches as I usually blog to my heart’s content only on seemingly “Church related” topics but then again what topic in human affairs is not Church related?
In this current installment of a pastime for some and career for others such as myself the two fighters in boxing’s most watched rivalry have become the picturesque presentation of “good guy vs bad guy” in favor of the fighter who rivals the fighter I have rooted for his entire fairytale (for boxers) of a career.
Having lived on both sides of life, baptized and unbaptized, faithful and unfaithful this contradiction is, to me, at the least, interesting since the goodhearted nature in us as well as any religious background causes us to often root for the underdog who in this case is the great Manny Pacquiao who enters the ring wearing a T-shirt which boldly reads, “Jesus is the name of the Lord.” All this man’s opponents just must be considered “evil” I often state with no small amount of sarcasm to rival the most radicalized Muslim terrorist.
When friends find im rooting for this outspoken believer’s most lusted after opponent they are often vehement and as one recently told me inspiring this blog, “really disappointed.” With my religious background it seems I would not be rooting for Floyd Mayweather who although has always been the underdog to me in spite of an undefeated professional career, along with representing the “haves” (despite coming from the poverty of us have-nots) in our culture, having amassed an insane fortune throughout his illustrious career and flashily lived a lavish and unfrugal lifestyle has been accused of and even convicted of domestic violence which makes even the faintest of hearts whose allegiance lies with the underdog see themselves in the shoes of his opponent administering justice for the most despicable of crimes.
Having come from the lower class, or the “have-nots,” its not difficult for me to understand why athletes all too often receive the attention, careful study and research the Saints deserve. It’s also pretty natural for me to see his seemingly unfrugal or overspending lifestyle (though my devout religion and faith would prevent my cooperation with) as a celebration of escaping poverty and a rejoicing in being a child of God as the super rich and great King Solomon’s figure in our faith may reveal.
It is this attention for the hero who beats poverty with God and hard work that I grew up fighting with prior to my baptism that I maintain in my shared profession with these two fighters and my continued fight against poverty that has placed me in the position to explain to my friends and family and loved ones that this man seen as a “nonbeliever” and a “woman beater” (as one of my dearest Catholic friends protested recently) to the majority of this historic event’s onlookers is actually “one of us.”
I know through and through the struggle to escape poverty which causes many of us to idolize those who were born into poverty and managed to escape it, biding their time whilst overworking and overcoming the odds to be able to use it as a campaign tool for support in further endeavors.
Having converted to our one true faith in my adulthood it is natural also for me to understand why most are rooting for the man in this rivalry whose religious faith and fervor is seemingly more visible, for I have obtained that which is most priceless and renders financial poverty absolutely irrelevant and exposes it for the illusion that it is in the spiritually rich life, giving us the faith to persist in peace in all our battles knowing we shall overcome since we have indeed already. This is the understanding that allows those who endure poverty to even concern themselves with taking sides in a rivalry between two “haves” who no longer struggle with us “havenots” against poverty, it would seem.
Our allegiance arises based on familiarities nationalities and principles that cause us to identify a fighter as one of our own or one of us through whom we vicariously live. We familiarize ourselves with a hero who though many of us have never met is seen as representing or fighting for and with us while inside we silently proclaim, “once a have-not always a have-not,” and mysteriously the huge financial gap between the rooting and the rooted for has disappeared; we now train, prepare and walk in the ring with the underdog for whom we hope and pray, as I have prayed my Rosary before the Most Blessed Sacrament and trained hard living in a state of grace in offering for the one I familiarize myself with and live vicariously through wishing and praying the best for him including forgiveness, safekeeping from sin and victory while praying for the welfare of both competitors.
Still upon viewing the results of recent poles taken in favor of the legend Manny Pacquiao at 59 to 41 percent and some even greater, you may wonder how I can root for the man who is not a known churchgoer vs. the man who is? Whose sins have been more visible to the eye of his fellow human being? Well now we get down to the “nitty-gritty” and full blown defense.
I dont know if my boxing hero has been a “woman beater…” I care….but I also care as much as Jesus Christ cares for your identity and that of my loved ones. I do know Forgiveness…I receive Him in person in Holy Communion in the faith and fidelity of my baptism and I ask my dear friends who refer to one according to any sin they might have had to bear, “are you the name of your sins?” Christianity teaches us that the Lord who will judge all as my hero stated in his post fight interview, does not call us by the name of our sins as does the enemy of our souls and throws them in the “sea of forgetfulness” mentioned in the Holy Bible once we have repented; that a repentant contrite heart He does not spurn. My boxing hero tells us in response to an unnecessary (in my opinion) investigation into his personal life that he asks God’s forgiveness and proclaims that though we as human beings do not forget, God forgives. Many need this investigation. I do not. Maybe its my shared nationality or physically shared attributes that keep my focus on the competition but it is most certainly my faith which tells me the state of my own soul and the eternal need for the Lord Jesus Christ’s mercy; enables me to win wagers turning one talent into two -to see and predict victory for my hero-the athelete and hero who fights poverty (though I still would not withhold my prayers) long before he steps in the ring to fight for his life and legacy and the livelihood of his family. It helps that I know the sport of boxing as a professional myself ( I’m far from what is called a casual boxing fan) but besides our prayers, the Lord leaves much up to us in obtaining our victories as we are blessed and set apart from all creation as most marvelous human beings to be the most intimate coworkers with God. Focus, dedication, determination. As many football and sports teams have traditionally prayed to God for victory…as many husbands and wives compete for the very same good job to provide for their families…my argument insists that the winner of this fight must be just as innocent or guilty or good as you or I…and that God’s favor still gives great meaning to the phrase “may the best man win.”



Add Manny Pacquiao to the list 🙂



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