Whilst i was weathering a great storm of temptation, it occurred to me to write to you how the Lord’s Holy Spirit was enabling me through
and these were my words:
Write the Bible (the catholic one-truly theONLY one in this great war between war and peace) on the walls of your mind (and heart).
And when u cannot fight, if you find yourself at the end of your resolve, close your eyes and let Jesus fight for you until the storm has passed, because it shall…and His Words like hieroglyphs on the walls of your mind will lead you. !just distract yourself!…the answers will come… Like !THAT! one came to me a whisper in the wind from the lips of our sweet Christ/The Holy Spirit…
open an intriguing novel…continually be asking in ur heart the Lord to carry you away…and He will…He wills that u be tried like gold in the fire that u be made worthy of such a King…
The Next Day!!! – And These are my grateful and burden-free rejoicing:
Now i feel the great reward!!!
After i distracted myself with reading (Ludlum’s Bourne Supremacy-already finished all Lustbader’s contributions-took my mind away from the battle at hand onto someone else’s pressing cross)
I further busied my weak overwhelmed will with that loving beautiful powerful film Forrest Gump.
I woke up unassaulted. Defended. Inebriated with sweet victory ready to shout whereforeartThou with a victorious laugh haha at tormenters and boast of our God.
Yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
And the wages of sin is death.
If you do fall run for His return-run to confession and thank Him for not calling you home in your death to obedience.
Remember: This too shall pass.
@_stlouie_ john 6:37 john 6:65 so wow how blessed are you and I??? Not all get to know the King of the Universe the Word of God made flesh as you and me. But do we not still love and respect our #Brethren as #PeopleOfTheBook and lovers of the #GodOfAbraham whom we feel do not know Him fully as we do? And how are we to invite them to if not by our love? Our #ChristianLove and #Understanding #InterfaithDialogue #Ecumenism #LoveOfGod #ForChristsSake Are they #Enemies? If you feel so then you know how the Lord commands we treat our #Enemies #LoveYourEnemies if you only love those who love you what reward is there for that? #PrayForYourEnemies #BlessThoseWhoCurseYou and I have yet to meet a #Jew or #Muslim who curses #Christians though i know they exist….the majority minus radicals are the #peaceloving people we include in our prayers in the #Gloria when we say glory to God in the highest and on earth #PEACETOPEOPLEOFGOODWILL …in fact if you watch the #LoneSurvivorMovie the real life character soldier Marcus Lutrell portrayed by Mark Wahlberg is saved by muslim law pashtunwali as muslim villagers risk their own lives in defiance of the taliban who feel pashtunwali should not extend to the american soldier seeing him as an enemy of islam…and then how does Jesus command us to treat our #Enemies ??? Google Tne Afghan Village that Saved Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell. #Dope #InterfaithDialogue #Ecumenism #TrueReligion
I’m back. And motivated for this beautiful New Year.
0sin (pronounced oh-seen), has been my battlecry since i was a protestant. It has long been my desire to live up to this lofty ideal that only our Lord Jesus Christ and His Holy Mother have truly embodied in humanity; without sin—perfect—Zero sin.
If you feel it more than just ‘missing the mark’ (the definition of sin), to fail to regularly update your blog then you’re not surprised at my being far from the most pious example. I promised in my last blog entry months and months ago not to be too busy with life to reasonably check in and post here–as I do love being apart of the Body of Christ here on the blogosphere. Forgive me. 😇
If you follow me on facebook or instagram however, you already know beyond a shadow of the benefit of the doubt that I’ve fallen far short of this our Christian ideal (0sin a.k.a. the State of Grace), particularly this past year, becoming a father (not the ordained kind) out of wedlock.
My girlfriend and I have been on and off for three years now. Our relationship has endured a good deal of culture gap, a painful amount of trivial selfishness on both our parts, her conversion to the Church, which though wasn’t especially difficult is still a conversion nonetheless with all it’s struggles, and my own ongoing conversion and wonder about my vocation having begun this relationship in route back to the place where I found my life; a monastery, where I enjoyed the happiest time of my life.
As my mother used to love to say, “Life is in session.”
On top of experiencing all this wonderful life, I’ve become a professional fighter, and as I’ve mentioned here, now a father of an awesome gift from the Lord in the form of a precious daughter due in May. Wow. All this and a few years ago I thought I was just on my way back to a monastery or onward to seminary.
But I am truly honored. A few days ago I saw all four ventricles of her awesome heart in full force.
Though it’s impossible to put a damper on that, her mother and I still face great concern.
I always hoped if this day ever came to raise my child in a traditional catholic family. This is why, for you precious children reading, you must avoid living in sin and even committing sin like the plague. The Lord does a mindblowing job cleaning up our messes, and no mess is to big for Him; Our Lady Undoer of Knots and all the Saints and Angels–the whole Host of Heaven with Him are also our help from Him on high, but still we are charged in all prudence, and it seems an easy gig and all we really have to do not to make things more difficult for ourselves as we so often do.
I am terrified of the uncertainty present in my outlook as to whether my girlfriend and I are called to a Happy Marriage together, particularly as it affects our daughter.
I’m absolutely torn in half as I cant imagine myself living apart from my daughter while my soul still longs for monastic life, though God is indeed calling me here.
Marriage is a terrible bandaid for a failed relationship. Many a Priest have actually advised me against marrying only for the sake of the child.
I just want things to be simple. They were once so simple.
All i know for certain is to recommit myself to obedience and living in the most delectable state of grace (and there’s my long-lost beloved simplicity),
shunning the cohabitation that I have allowed to cloud my vision until my girlfriend and I can be joined together in Holy Matrimony or the Lord reveals in dedicated prayer and time spent before the Most Blessed Sacrament His will otherwise.
This endeavor however is more than enough for my seemingly insatiable appetite for the Lord’s precious grace; It lights me afire.
Though I’m certainly still not walking by sight, Guiding light illuminates my path–as I look forward to an OH-SEEN-TWENTY-SIXTEEN.
0Sin2016. Back on my guaranteed/certain victory/cant go wrong path. 😇Obedience, Sweet Obedience. Home Sweet Obedience. 0sin2016. #LETSGOCHAMPS !
Well, okay, after much internal poking from myself here I am to blog about the not so important event in the life of the Church that may be moreso important than my busy attention appears to me to have time for. Also I rejoice at the provocation to get back to blogging on my very favorite subject.
Although I very much enjoyed this event, the so-called “fight of the century,” a boxing match between the two most legendary fighters of this era in boxing which occured May 2, 2015, it would -were it not for disappointed friends and acquaintances’ good hearts rooting for the opposing fighter to my pick for boxing’s best and therefore representative of the “good side”- leave me this night either praying my office or training for my own possible soon and upcoming boxing matches as I usually blog to my heart’s content only on seemingly “Church related” topics but then again what topic in human affairs is not Church related?
In this current installment of a pastime for some and career for others such as myself the two fighters in boxing’s most watched rivalry have become the picturesque presentation of “good guy vs bad guy” in favor of the fighter who rivals the fighter I have rooted for his entire fairytale (for boxers) of a career.
Having lived on both sides of life, baptized and unbaptized, faithful and unfaithful this contradiction is, to me, at the least, interesting since the goodhearted nature in us as well as any religious background causes us to often root for the underdog who in this case is the great Manny Pacquiao who enters the ring wearing a T-shirt which boldly reads, “Jesus is the name of the Lord.” All this man’s opponents just must be considered “evil” I often state with no small amount of sarcasm to rival the most radicalized Muslim terrorist.
When friends find im rooting for this outspoken believer’s most lusted after opponent they are often vehement and as one recently told me inspiring this blog, “really disappointed.” With my religious background it seems I would not be rooting for Floyd Mayweather who although has always been the underdog to me in spite of an undefeated professional career, along with representing the “haves” (despite coming from the poverty of us have-nots) in our culture, having amassed an insane fortune throughout his illustrious career and flashily lived a lavish and unfrugal lifestyle has been accused of and even convicted of domestic violence which makes even the faintest of hearts whose allegiance lies with the underdog see themselves in the shoes of his opponent administering justice for the most despicable of crimes.
Having come from the lower class, or the “have-nots,” its not difficult for me to understand why athletes all too often receive the attention, careful study and research the Saints deserve. It’s also pretty natural for me to see his seemingly unfrugal or overspending lifestyle (though my devout religion and faith would prevent my cooperation with) as a celebration of escaping poverty and a rejoicing in being a child of God as the super rich and great King Solomon’s figure in our faith may reveal.
It is this attention for the hero who beats poverty with God and hard work that I grew up fighting with prior to my baptism that I maintain in my shared profession with these two fighters and my continued fight against poverty that has placed me in the position to explain to my friends and family and loved ones that this man seen as a “nonbeliever” and a “woman beater” (as one of my dearest Catholic friends protested recently) to the majority of this historic event’s onlookers is actually “one of us.”
I know through and through the struggle to escape poverty which causes many of us to idolize those who were born into poverty and managed to escape it, biding their time whilst overworking and overcoming the odds to be able to use it as a campaign tool for support in further endeavors.
Having converted to our one true faith in my adulthood it is natural also for me to understand why most are rooting for the man in this rivalry whose religious faith and fervor is seemingly more visible, for I have obtained that which is most priceless and renders financial poverty absolutely irrelevant and exposes it for the illusion that it is in the spiritually rich life, giving us the faith to persist in peace in all our battles knowing we shall overcome since we have indeed already. This is the understanding that allows those who endure poverty to even concern themselves with taking sides in a rivalry between two “haves” who no longer struggle with us “havenots” against poverty, it would seem.
Our allegiance arises based on familiarities nationalities and principles that cause us to identify a fighter as one of our own or one of us through whom we vicariously live. We familiarize ourselves with a hero who though many of us have never met is seen as representing or fighting for and with us while inside we silently proclaim, “once a have-not always a have-not,” and mysteriously the huge financial gap between the rooting and the rooted for has disappeared; we now train, prepare and walk in the ring with the underdog for whom we hope and pray, as I have prayed my Rosary before the Most Blessed Sacrament and trained hard living in a state of grace in offering for the one I familiarize myself with and live vicariously through wishing and praying the best for him including forgiveness, safekeeping from sin and victory while praying for the welfare of both competitors.
Still upon viewing the results of recent poles taken in favor of the legend Manny Pacquiao at 59 to 41 percent and some even greater, you may wonder how I can root for the man who is not a known churchgoer vs. the man who is? Whose sins have been more visible to the eye of his fellow human being? Well now we get down to the “nitty-gritty” and full blown defense.
I dont know if my boxing hero has been a “woman beater…” I care….but I also care as much as Jesus Christ cares for your identity and that of my loved ones. I do know Forgiveness…I receive Him in person in Holy Communion in the faith and fidelity of my baptism and I ask my dear friends who refer to one according to any sin they might have had to bear, “are you the name of your sins?” Christianity teaches us that the Lord who will judge all as my hero stated in his post fight interview, does not call us by the name of our sins as does the enemy of our souls and throws them in the “sea of forgetfulness” mentioned in the Holy Bible once we have repented; that a repentant contrite heart He does not spurn. My boxing hero tells us in response to an unnecessary (in my opinion) investigation into his personal life that he asks God’s forgiveness and proclaims that though we as human beings do not forget, God forgives. Many need this investigation. I do not. Maybe its my shared nationality or physically shared attributes that keep my focus on the competition but it is most certainly my faith which tells me the state of my own soul and the eternal need for the Lord Jesus Christ’s mercy; enables me to win wagers turning one talent into two -to see and predict victory for my hero-the athelete and hero who fights poverty (though I still would not withhold my prayers) long before he steps in the ring to fight for his life and legacy and the livelihood of his family. It helps that I know the sport of boxing as a professional myself ( I’m far from what is called a casual boxing fan) but besides our prayers, the Lord leaves much up to us in obtaining our victories as we are blessed and set apart from all creation as most marvelous human beings to be the most intimate coworkers with God. Focus, dedication, determination. As many football and sports teams have traditionally prayed to God for victory…as many husbands and wives compete for the very same good job to provide for their families…my argument insists that the winner of this fight must be just as innocent or guilty or good as you or I…and that God’s favor still gives great meaning to the phrase “may the best man win.”
Add Manny Pacquiao to the list 🙂
The Church will make you a mystic!
He has shown His (Sacred & Holy) Face.
It’s all over — I forget all my gripes.
All My strivings cease-
-before his true Highness in His presence beyond ALL manner-before His Holy Face.
The Sun has risen (Indeed).
In ALL His (Heavenly) Glory!
Though your sins be as scarlett,
they shall surely be as white as snow.
I felt like Simeon.
He does exist indeed. I have swallowed Truth with mine own eyes–through them I have consumed the Holy Sacrifice – the bread of Angels with my whole heart.
All the truth of his Holy Church has been confirmed for me.
All She proclaims is Truth–Is Him-Her/our Bridegroom
who indeed has come to redeem us and marry us–clean us up and make us His own.
It’s not even been a half-hour, and already
I am overwhelmed with His Grace.
Already I am twice risen from the dead having been first upon sight of Him- slain in the Spirit as protestants say but can only allude to in my opinion –having experienced their exclamation as a convert myself which describes being finished with life of sin, and then having been filled with joy, and life and vitality being in His presence. I am feeling the difference between the Wise Men guided by the Star on their way to Him and the Wise Men arrived THERE Before His Mother & the King–ever Newborn. The difference between being On their way their and being THERE before Him the Saviour of the world. I am so glad to have arrived.
I am suspended.
No wonder they say people (the Saints) levitate or have levitated — (Leviticus) — I feel as though I am–or I might or I will eventually sitting here barely able to stay in my chair and soon to be on my knees in adoration.
Now I am content to just close my eyes and breathe–
inhale through my nose the air –the sweet air that surrounds Him and us here in the chapel.
Here is life.
Oh I am (usually/all too often) Saint Martha—worried about many things…Lord…not now of course but all too often–before You have strengthened my faith with Your Holy Presence-which assures me nothing is wrong–all is well–for You have or will fix Everything.
The last half-hour has disappeared…in the Presence of the King. He gives us here before Him the strength to -carry our cross- do our mission whatever it may be.
The strength to reach out of ourselves to others either in prayer or in loving action.
All we have to do is come before Him.
Yes, I can do all (whatever) that You ask of me Lord-If you Send me, then How could I not? For the devil himself would have to stop me and Saint Michael and your Angels would fight for me as they did for Moses and even if my mortal life ended my mission from Heaven would be as a grain of wheat that falls to the floor and bears much fruit-accomplished.